I dont even know where to start , I am so totally outta wack the last couple of days.I cant seem to get motivated to do anything at all ,my friend came over a few days ago and we had a few wines.The next day I actually felt worse, no i wasnt hung over,just pissed of with myself and in a very dark mood.Im trying to practise Mindfulness ,but my mind is just racing with thought, cant meditate no focuss whatsoever .Years ago a drink or eight would take the edge of, but now it just pushes me to the edge......Sometimes its hard to be me. Hopefully tonite I might be able to sleep,have had imsomnia for the last three nights, maybe a good nite sleep will get me outta my funk .

Well Ive been back from Cairns for three days,Im feeling totally out of wack .Im suffering from post holiday blues,missing the kids like a bitch and feeling very restless .Yesterday was my Dads 85th birthday so late in the afternoon husband P and I drove up to celebrate with him, we stopped on the way to get him a nice bottle of Spanish wine and of cause one for myself !! It was kool to see him ,and tell him all about our holiday and of cause show him all the great pics of kids Cairns etc.This morning I woke up feeling disorientated ,the place is so quite and my head was so busy with thoughts, so I went for a walk around the block to clear my old noggin.Its seemed to work wonders ,made myself a healthy shake and then did some meditation . I wish I had got into meditation years ago instead of trying others means of quietning the mind which actually didnt work ,just numbed out your thinking ,but anyhow I guess its better late than never ...... this pic was my meditation a few years back ....